i. ... okay, fine. but i don't want to be a better person tonight. i want to be a better person tomorrow.
ii. he told me I was "too flexible." excuse me???
iii. update: i had to break up with him. i had no idea we were even dating.
iv. i may still be partially handcuffed to the bed but i think i'm getting breakfast in bed out of this so don't rescue me yet...
v. sorry, is this motivational speaking or sexting? it's getting hard to tell.