» stand there and watch me burn.

[recoined]

hit me with your best shot.

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Comments

tfln.

[recoined]

i. ... okay, fine. but i don't want to be a better person tonight. i want to be a better person tomorrow.
ii. he told me I was "too flexible." excuse me???
iii. update: i had to break up with him. i had no idea we were even dating.
iv. i may still be partially handcuffed to the bed but i think i'm getting breakfast in bed out of this so don't rescue me yet...
v. sorry, is this motivational speaking or sexting? it's getting hard to tell.

iv

[obdurates]

i felt securely on the winning side when i left you handcuffed
now i'm finding out you're still getting breakfast delivered out of it
doesn't seem fair

[recoined]

( "oops." )

if i don't get breakfast out of this, i might not have any energy left in me
which would really defeat the purpose of leaving me cuffed all morning

you should be proud of my resourcefulness here

[obdurates]

oh, i'm absolutely impressed you were able to convince someone to bring a handcuffed person breakfast

just so we're clear, the handcuffs stay on, once i clear up this institute business, we're back on

[recoined]

uber eats has really stepped up their delivery services
i did have to convince the guy to climb through the window
but i think the view and the tip i gave him probably helped a little

you could have at least left me with netflix or something though

ii

[amarillos]

uh is he an idiot? if so ditch him because how is being flexible a bad thing exactly?

[recoined]

my magic 8 ball says "definitely yes"
apparently it's "intimidating"
i'm not sure why everything is in quotes anymore

[amarillos]

idk why either. but if you're looking for someone who appreciates your flexibility, i'm happy to spend some quality time with you. we can do some yoga or something

[recoined]

i'm always down for another installment of girl bonding 101
my zumba class is at 3 but i'm all yours after

( iii. )

[aberth]

i mean, i thought you were just friends too so at least you're not alone in your obliviousness?

[recoined]

how does this even happen?
he's so hot
and yet so clingy

it's like the twilight zone of hook ups

[aberth]

maybe it's just a thing with ridiculously attractive people.
but then again, i don't think i've ever known anyone to get together the normal way so i'm not an expert.

[recoined]

he cried, adam
we've hooked up TWICE

and he cried

v.

[unhesitating]

both? ish.

i can multi task.

it works with boss man.

[recoined]

okay now i need an example
i'll be jason
motivationally sext me, go

[unhesitating]

okay i will

but you've got to pinkie promise something before i show you this knowledge

ii

[bikinimail]

excuse HIM there is no such thing

[recoined]

obviously!!!
like, what, does he not want me to bend over?

[bikinimail]

no way. all guys want girls to bend over.

v

[quarterbacking]

both?? kind of. it started out as 'team leader' conversation
you're the one that steered it the other way

[recoined]

i'm sorry
i was just trying to motivate you to do something less boring than plan workout regimens
i'm pretty sure alpha can do that for us

[quarterbacking]

in theory, alpha could do it, yeah
and i'm not against your idea of a workout
just so you know

i

[quarterbacking]

and you want me to go along with this planned procrastination

[recoined]

yes?
obviously?
how will i know if i'm disappointing your questionable morals without you sighing in the background every few minutes?

[quarterbacking]

according to the school paper my morals are immaculate
that said i'm not opposed to making an appearance